"What if God's plan for your life is for you and Him to dream up a new one together?" ~Don Miller
Do you ever have those moments when you look at your life and realize that you have freedom? You think that you shouldn't have freedom, but for some reason you do and no one can ever take it away. Today is the day we celebrate Jesus' death. God's murdered son brought us life and sometimes that's a really hard truth for me to accept. I've lived my life and I have seen all the ugly, dark and mean moments. I have lied, cheated, gossiped, and hurt others. I haven't helped others when I could have helped. I am selfish, quick to judge, I have little to no self control and sometimes I still doubt God's goodness.
But because of Jesus and His death on the cross God doesn't see me as a sinner but as a child. He has given me a new name and a future so wonderful I could spend months dreaming it up and not even come close to the life He actually has for me. He shows me miracles. He forgives my sins, and even when I run away He chases me down and welcomes me home. He loves me more than I could ever imagine, He never leaves me and He never fails me. I don't have guilt and I don't have to be afraid. I'm not punished for all the things that I have done wrong in life, because Jesus was punished for me. Sounds to good to be true right? Try for a moment to understand the depths of His love for you and I guarantee you that you will be so over joyed you will want to spend the rest of your life thinking about nothing else but how much you are loved, in spite of yourself.
The past few months I have been living and working in Chattanooga, TN and loving almost every single minute of it here! God has been so great and He has been opening up so many doors here. One huge opportunity He has provided me with is the chance to lead a team of college students this summer on a 2 month missions trip overseas with Adventures in Missions called Passport. (AIM is in the same family as the World Race) I am really excited about this opportunity because I love students and I can't wait to spend 2 months loving and encouraging them in their relationships with God.
I leave on May 30 and return on July 31 and I would love your prayers as I trust Jesus on this journey. Who knows where He will take me next!
Thank you so much for your love and support! Watch this video about the Passport trips!
I'm not sure if it's possible, but I think in the four months since I've been home after the World Race I have experienced more spiritual attack, more brokenness and more desperation than the entire 11 months combined.
America is a dark place. I feel our selfishness, greed, lust and comfort killing our passions and leading us to believe we have no need for God. It's a very strange reality to live in a place where I can have anything I want in 30 minutes or less. I don't like it at all, and I find my self having to fight so much harder to have a relationship with Jesus.
Since I was 17 years old I knew that God was calling me to minister in our nation. Other than a minor month 5 "debrief high" where I thought I might move to Uganda and adopt all the orphans, I knew America was where God wanted me.
I still believe that is true. I still believe the Lord is calling me here, "for such a time as this." My squad mate Dawn recently told that I need to, " start running towards my calling."
I was having a conversation with someone the other day and he was telling me all about how our county will reach financial ruin in about 10 years. He talked about our immediate doom for about an hour and then he stopped.
He said, "my generation has always believed the worst, but you guys are different." There are studies out there that suggest our generation is wired to believe that they can change the world. We are optimistic and we will not settle for financial ruin, or failure. We want change and actually believe it's a possibility.
He said it's funny that the world needs changing just when there is a generation that thinks they can change the world.
I don't think it's funny, I think it's our calling and the only thing that will keeps us from that is fear. We can end things like human trafficking. That is an injustice that does not have to happen. Faith is risk and following God always means we risk our comfort, our desires, and ourselves.
To be honest I am scared to follow God in this new season. I'm scarred I'll fail, I keep thinking to myself I'm a child of God why am I messing up so much! I'm scared my mistakes will make Jesus not want me anymore, I'm scared that once I receive grace I will fail again. I mean you have to wonder if His grace is ever going to run out, I keep needing more and more of it these days. I know it wont ever run out, but still His grace is like my oxygen right now. I need my savior now more than ever, I need Him to fight these battles for me and keep me safe.
The year of 2011 was pretty amazing for me. I went to 4 different continents, 11+ countries and watched miracles. This year has a lot of work ahead if it's going to top what I have just experienced.
But, I'm one of those crazy, wrecked for the ordinary, hearing God's voice, miracle seeing people that believe it's actually possible.
Bring it 2012.
"Father, I pray against the spirit of selfishness. Give us the power to think of others first and ourselves last. Give us the patience to trust you for our every need. I pray that your Spirit breaks forth within each of your people. I pray that wether we are together or separated we feel the fullness of you inside of us. Guard us God and keeps us safe as we walk in the path you have chosen for us."
This past year I witnessed freedom, healing, grace, mercy and peace being brought to some of the darkest places in our world. This year I saw God working and moving in nations that are forgotten. I saw Jesus meet the needs of dying children and lonely widows. This year I saw the Gospel change lives, and it was all made possible because of YOU!
In Guatemala we hugged neglected orphans and played games in a garbage dump with the children who live and work there.
In El Salvador we worked along side the men of Teen Challenge making T-Shirts and other goods. We spoke at their meetings and became friends with these struggling men. Each day we would hear stories of breakthrough and freedom. When these men met Jesus they were forever changed.
In Panama we helped a sweet pastor start his church. We painted the building and prayed that the gospel would penetrate this dark and poverty stricken town.
In Philippines we worked with Threads of Hope. We made bracelets with women who were finally beginning to understand they had value. For the first time in their lives they were able to make an income that did not involve prostitution.
In Thailand we worked on the coast that was ravaged by the Tsunami 7 years earlier. We spent time with Sea Gypsies, one of the most neglected people groups in Thailand. Many of these people are still looking for homes, education and a means of income. We helped them make "Thai Totes" bags so they could sell them and earn an income.
In Malaysia we traveled from Penang Island working with a homeless ministry, to Timothy House where we worked with refugees and disabled children. We spent hours in prayer over this Muslim nation.
In Cambodia we traveled out to a little village just beginning to rebuild after the Khmer Rouge genocide. We stood outside in the 100 degree weather and taught beautiful little children English and Math. They were so eager to learn but were rarely given the opportunity. The genocide killed almost all of the teachers in their nation.
In Kenya we lived and worked with a family struggling to get money for food. We visited homes and taught the Bible to people hungry for the word of God. We prayed along with the family that God would provide money for their new church building.
In Uganda we experienced an abundance of joy as we saw God's children raising up to meet the needs of their nation. We saw miracles when we prayed for people who were suffering in a dark, dirty and crowed hospital. In just a few days we were informed that all the patients we prayed for had been cleared to return home.
In Tanzania we visited Masai villages and shared the Gospel in hundreds of homes. We saw people understand grace for the first time. We watched as a smile would explode on their faces when they realized they were loved by a good God.
In India we tutored untouchables in the slums. I saw the faces of eager, sweet children light up when we told them they were special. We watched the lives of children change before our eyes because they were given education, a meal and the hope of Jesus.
These are just the beginning of the stories and the things the Lord has done this year. I pray you feel God telling you well done! Thank you for your faithfulness! Be encouraged, the Lord is working and moving all over the world! He has used you in a mighty way this year.
Thank You!
I will keep updating my blog and sharing with you my future plans!
"Through the rain, sleet and snow, get on the train and say goodbye, say goodbye"
~David Gray
I am home! It is so great to be back with family and friends, but it is also very strange adapting to my new "normal" now. Normal is not cramming 6 adults into an auto-rickshaw made for 2 people. It's not walking outside to use the restroom. It's not lighting a fire to make my dinner. It's not getting emotional every time I see a Starbucks. It's not mindlessly following a crowd of 60 people every time I go to an airport.
For example, when we arrived in JFK I said goodbye to my squad mates and made my way to the US Airways ticket counter. It was awkward walking alone but I was confident of my new found travel abilities. I then spent about 15 minutes trying to check-in at the wrong airline. I just kept sticking my credit card into the self check-in machine hoping my tickets would print out. Luckily, some kind man helped me find my way to the correct ticket counter. Oh, dear I suppose I am still "adapting."
I am so thankful that the Lord has taken me on this journey. I am so glad that His pursuit of each of us is relentless and steadfast. I will miss holding the hands of little orphan children, taking babies from strangers (I return them) and living with some of the most amazing people in the world. I will miss eating meals outside in the Cambodian heat, and praying over people in African hospitals. I will miss lots of things, but I believe the best is yet to come.
I have learned that listening to the Lord's voice and acting on what He says is the essence of abundant life and it never ceases to be an adventure. This life in not contingent on location or my abilities, the only ingredient needed is Jesus. I love that with Jesus when I say goodbye to one adventure, I am just saying hello to my next one.
The Lord is giving me a new vision and a new excitement about His work all over the world, and I can't wait to share more of that with you!
Here is a little end of the year video of our journey.
In northern India there is a rat temple. People go and worship rats who are believed to be the reincarnation of past gods. They will let rats crawl on them, eat the food the rats eat and hopefully get to touch one of the illusive white rats. This is said to bring good luck. This is just one of the many temples that you can find in India.
India's culture is unlike any other culture in the entire world. The food the clothing the customs are all so different! It has been a blessing just to visit this part of the world.
This month we are teaching in the slums. Education is valued here and may be the only way out of slum life for some of these children. When entering a slum its like you are entering an entirely different world.
The people change, the buildings change, the foods change it literally becomes darker because the buildings are so close together. It is estimated that 62 million people are now living in the slums. These are the untouchables and their stories are heart breaking.
People are hungry and are forced to beg for food. Women carry children around because they think it will help them earn money, this may be the only reason a baby girls life is spared.
Our contacts told us stories of how girls are treated in the slum. Baby girls are undesired because it is expensive to pay for a wedding. They are buried alive, poisoned, put in a pressure cooker or fed to dogs. These are the most common means ending the baby girls life.
If the girls survive they are raped, often times by young boys. The boys learn this behavior from their fathers. They begin to rape young girls very early in life. They also learn abuse, and many of the boys grow up to abuse their wives. Its a viscous cycle that is hard to break.
Tonight was a difficult night for me in the slum. One little boy that I just love came out of the classroom crying at the end of the night, because someone had stolen his pencil. These kids are so poor and I wondered if it was the only one he had. I wondered if he would be able to go to school the next day without one. I gave him my pen and a hug and wished I could do more.
There are lots of moments like these when my tendency is to get discouraged. These children are usually ignored. They are viewed as hopeless untouchables by the majority of their nation.
However, I refuse to believe that these children are going to be another slum statistic. I know there is hope.
Right now we are working with a ministry that provides over 200 children in one slum money for school, a tutoring program, and a warm meal each night. These precious children are given hope.
Every night they are told they are loved by God. They are told that He has not forgotten them, He is providing for them and will give them a way out of the slum. And I believe that the hope of Jesus Christ will not disappoint.
About all the billion highways and the cities at the break of dawn
Well I guess the best that I can do now is pretend that I've done nothing wrong
And to dream about a train that's gonna take me back where I belong"
~Bright Eyes
We are in INDIA! I can not believe that we have made it this far! We are in our 11 month of this incredible journey. God has been overwhelming us with His goodness and this month is no exception.
After a 33 hour train ride, which was quite the experience, we arrived safe and sound in Bangalore, India. The city is beautiful and it boasts of some of the best weather in all of India. We are staying with an amazing couple and their 3 children and working in a ministry they started to serve the slum children.
In India there is a cast system and the slum children are of the lowest class. They are called the untouchables and they have very little opportunity to get out of their circumstances. The couple we are staying with hosts a school program which tutors these children and provides them a meal every day. For most of the children this is the only meal they eat. The streets are usually crowed with children begging or stealing for food and they do this because they are starving. This ministry seeks to end these problems.
The program starts at 4pm and they have a little over 200 children arrive each day. Their staff consists of 5 teachers! Needless to say the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few here in Bangalore.
As we start this month our team is excited. We refuse to let this last month be a month of distractions with our future plans or giving into the exhaustion that comes from 11 months of traveling and living in 3rd world countries.
This morning our team gathered and prayed and worshiped our Father who has been so good to bring us here! We believe that God is working and moving in India. We believe that the Lord will shower love on these slum children and they will come to have a relationship with our God.
I can't wait to share stories of faith that has come from our host family, and I can't wait to introduce you to some of Gods favorite children
"When blood and water hit the ground Walls we couldn't move came crashing down We were free and made alive The day that true love died, The day that true love died"
~Phil Wickham
In Guatemala, our first month on the World Race, I can remember God saying that He wanted me to come back to a child like faith and enjoy his presence. I wasn't really sure what He meant at that time, but I held on to those words.
God, who has already done so much for me, wants me to enjoy his presence?!
This past week I was sitting in Iringa Town, Tanzania on our off day drinking coffee in a cute little shop with my friend. We were talking about life and the World Race and laughing and telling stories and I realized that my outlook on life was different.
When I was in high school I had crazy dreams of taking missions trips all over the world and showing people how they can have life and love. When I entered college my dreams became much more tame. After college I got a job (ironically at a Christian camp) and my dreams died even more and became very safe and tame.
I no longer dreamed about crazy adventures with Jesus. I dreamed about a safe life that included a cute little job and marriage, the usual American dreams. Its funny because even while I was dreaming those dreams, deep down I knew that they would one day end in restlessness because it wasn't my Fathers best.
Somewhere along the way I had forgotten that God has called me to a crazy, wild adventure led step by step by his holy spirt.
God had to break me out of the American life and take me around the world to show me that He is still a God of excitement and adventure and fun.
In just 10 months he has led me to hug orphans, bungee jump into the Nile, scuba dive in the Philippines, ride an elephant through the Thailand jungle, hold the hand of a child dying with AIDS, show love to a prostitute and so much more.
He is not only Savior in eternity, He is Savior of our lives here on earth. He has given us passions and dreams for a reason.
I know that jobs, homes, marriage and families are good gifts from God, and are usually a result of a great blessing that God has poured out on his children. I would not be on the world race if it was not for my amazing family and friends who have so generously supported me through prayers and gifts.
I just know that I was close to settling for small dreams and safe things. I believe I will have all those things one day, but they will be better than anything I could dream up on my own.
If there is an unrest or discontentment in your life, I encourage you to go back to a simple child like faith. Ask your good Father to give you a new fresh dream and watch Him call you away to a life that is wild, free and full of Him.
We are staying in a home with paper thin walls. It's funny, you can hear everything that is said anywhere in the house including the bathroom.
Tanzania is a perfect way to end our time in East Africa. It is full of amazing scenery, beautiful mountains, beaches, national parks and AMAZING people.
This month has flown by, I can't believe its almost over. Here is a look at a typical (*note, there is no such thing as typical) day.
At 8:30 am breakfast arrives. It is a giant bowl of fried dough and a stack of while loaf bread. We eat then both teams gather around for prayer.
At about 10:00 we leave for morning ministry. We divide into teams of 2 and visit houses in the neighborhood, or we go and visit widows. Some days we help build a toilet for widows in the church. This is a complicated process, filled with lugging buckets of sand a long distance.
At 1:00 we arrive back at our house and eat lunch. Lunch is rice, beans and more fried dough.
At 3:00 we leave again for ministry. We hike up to the church and preach.
At 6:00 we walk back from church and dodge the crazy drunk people. One man ran across the road screaming and waving his arms in our faces.
At 6:30 we arrive safely back in our home. By this point it is very cold outside and we huddle in blankets till dinner arrives. We love the cold, its such a nice break from the heat. No complaints!
At 8:00 dinner arrives. This is beans, rice and some sort of fried bread.
Lots of things can happen after dinner. Sometimes its worship and prayer, sometimes its dance parties and sometimes its Spades. Last night we met up with another team and worshiped outside of a hotel for hours. It was wonderful!
We finally crawl into bet and carry on a conversation through the paper thin walls and laugh ourselves to sleep. Its a good life!
An orphanage we visited.
Rock we climbed
*Photo Credit Rachel Duff-Banks and Jacinda Koziara
"Tell me where are you goin Where do you go? Tell me where are you going? Where? Let's go."
~Dave Matthew's Band
I am still not sure where we spent our past week of ministry. When we got to our home in Tanzania we were told that we were going to take a 5 day trip out to the villages. We divided into teams of two, which was a first for the world race. Our teams had a day to prepare and then we hopped on a bus with a translator we never met and headed off to a village.
We stayed in a mud hut with a pastor and his family and our translator. I never thought that I would be freezing in East Africa, but in the Tanzanian bush it is freezing. So for 5 nights my friend Rachel and I slept on a mattress on a dirt floor in freezing Tanzania. It was certainly an adventure.
While we were in the village we spoke with several people and invited them to the church the pastor was starting. We also shared the gospel and we had several people decide to follow Jesus.
It was a long 5 days, but it was a great experience. We saw quite a bit of spiritual attack in the village. I believe that the people here have been told for so long that they are worthless and unworthy of love that they are starting to believe these lies. It was sad to see how the people live and how they have accepted their fate. We went and visited the hospital and saw so many people who looked hopeless. Our teams realized how important prayer is going to be this month. We want the people in this nation to realize how much they are loved and valued.
"The fourth of July, looks like the tide is going home"
~Band of Horses
We are in Tanzania! Its month 10 and it's difficult to believe that we only have one month left. This month we experienced one of our longest travel adventures. We started on 5pm July 1st and arrived at our location in Tanzania at 4pm July 4th. In case you are planning an African adventure any time soon, I would advice that you always fly and stay as far away from African buses as possible.
It was a fun adventure, but it was so nice to arrive in our city of Iringa for the month. We are working with team Pneuma and doing lots of door to door evangelism. We will be preaching at churches, youth groups, women's groups and traveling deep into the Maasai village.
We are so excited to be working with this pastor and his community. Tanzania is beautiful! On our ride we were treated to a spontaneous safari. Right before the entire bus pulled over to the side of the road for a group bathroom break; we saw giraffes and monkeys. Oh, Africa we will miss you!
